Child Custody & Visitation

Is Tennessee a 50/50 custody state?

From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com

  • No Tennessee is not a 50/50 custody

    State we try not to use the word custody

    anymore uh we call it parenting time I

    don’t think parents should be visitors

    we used to call it custody and

    visitation and I I just don’t think

    either parent should have quote

    visitation or be a visitor we call it

    parenting time now uh there’s no

    presumption about 5050 it’s what is in

    the best interest of the child

    considering all the factors that go in

    work schedule health of the child health

    of the parents ability to parent but uh

    our statute does say that it encourages

    that a schedule be made to allow both

    parents the maximum amount of time that

    almost sounds like you start out with an

    idea that 5050 would be best and then

    you determine if all the factors will

    allow it but I can’t say That’s the Law

    that’s just Dan Taylor’s approach to it

What trends do you see in the area of custody?

From Anne’s interview on ReelLawyers.com

  • Since I’ve been practicing divorce law

    child custody We Now call it parenting

    time uh has changed somewhat in the old

    days what we’d see is uh dad because

    families were traditionally moms and

    dads dad would have the weekends and

    maybe one night during the week he’d go

    to dinner or have the kids spend the

    night at his house and Mom would have

    the rest of the parenting time that uh

    old parent

    is pretty much out the window at this

    point most courts are pleased to give uh

    the the one parent a little extra time

    over the weekend so now what we see more

    is a Thursday through Monday and then

    one night spend the night during the

    week but if the parties are in agreement

    and in some courts in my state the judge

    won’t even need the parties to be in

    agreement if both parents are uh able to

    to parent the children in essentially

    equal and productive ways that are in

    the children’s best interests then many

    courts now are approving 50/50 parenting

    plans we’ve seen 50/50 time uh over and

    over and over again be approved by the

    courts and it’s it’s a fantastic thing

    for the kids no nobody wants to divorce

    and spend less time with their children

    and so as much as the courts can

    equalize those parents’ time they’re

    they’re doing that more and more and I

    think it’s a great thing for the

    families

How does the court determine child custody in a divorce case?

From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com

  • The total Lynch pin on the issue of

    custody is what is in the best interest

    of the child or the children it’s not

    what the mother wants it’s not what the

    father wants and it’s not really what

    the child wants although that can come

    into play it is what the court determins

    is in the best interest of the child now

    that has to do with consistency it has

    to do with which parent has in the past

    before the divorce process started has

    been the parent that was there the most

    the

    caretaker the nurturer it’s literally

    going back and looking at a history of

    the marriage to determine what will be

    in the best interest of the child going

    forward when that child is going to have

    parents living in different homes the

    work schedule of the parents the

    education of the parents the ability

    for one parent to encourage a good

    relationship between the child and the

    other parent uh is frankly one of the

    key uh factors in our statute about

    child custody a lot of people have the

    misconception that once a child turns 12

    the child can decide where the child

    wants to live and that’s not correct

    it’s a little more subtle than that if

    child’s 12 or older parent can ask the

    court to at least least listen to the

    child and the court has to the court has

    no choice Court doesn’t have to do what

    the child wants but the court has to

    hear the child and here are the reasons

    why if the child is under 12 you can ask

    the court to talk to the child but the

    Court’s not required to talk to the

    child

What can be used against you in a custody battle?

From Anne’s interview on ReelLawyers.com

  • When my clients are going through a high

    conflict divorce and generally the

    reason divorces get into a high conflict

    situation is emotions arise over the

    children it is so so important to keep

    your

    Communications a in writing but B clean

    and what I try to explain to my clients

    is assume that every single thing you

    say and

    do in the presence of your spouse or to

    your spouse is going to be seen by a

    judge what we see now especially in our

    these high and conflict adversarial um

    very emotional histrionic sometimes uh

    divorce

    situations is that the partners are uh

    they are videoing each other they are

    100% saving every text they are writing

    texts to antagonize or to draw out

    negative commentary from the other side

    there’s a lot of manipulation that’s

    going on and people were so used to in

    our society sending off a quick text uh

    shooting a quick email uh and we do it

    without thinking and without realizing

    that our tone sounds horrible if it were

    to be read by someone else our choice of

    words is so unkind there are actually

    programs that can help clients when they

    are writing a text uh to somebody that

    will take into account all the language

    and the tone and then send back almost

    you know how AI can rewrite something

    for you they can send it back and say do

    it in a better tone I try very hard to

    make sure that my clients understand

    what they’re saying texting emailing is

    never going to be a secret and that goes

    for photos too I mean don’t take

    pictures you don’t want the judge to see

    don’t write things you don’t want the

    judge to see always think as if your

    grandmother is going to read and look at

    everything that you communicate and and

    govern yourself accordingly

Can a child have input in a child custody decision?

From Daniel’s Interview on ReelLawyers.com

  • Under certain

    circumstances if a child is 12 years or

    over now this answer is premised upon

    the parents being in litigation and

    going before a judge to determine the

    issue of custody if a child is 12 years

    or older either parent can file a motion

    with the court uh to insist that the

    court talk to the child at least hear

    the child’s preference ask the child

    why uh there’s a preference the court

    doesn’t have to do what the child wants

    but court has to at least hear the child

    if the child is under 12 years old the

    court does not have to talk to the child

    now if parents are in the negotiation

    stage of trying to agree on a parenting

    schedule if they’re wise they’ll at

    least give their child’s wishes some

    consideration and of course how old a

    child is and how mature a child is uh

    certainly comes into play a 16 or a

    17-year-old that is starting to develop

    their own lives and their own Social

    Circles uh may have wishes and desires

    that parents ought to respect up to a

    point but children should never be

    allowed to tell parents what they’re

    going to do uh when I was growing up I

    certainly didn’t dare tell my father

    what my schedule was going to be

Can both parents have joint custody of a child?

From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com

  • Certainly I I tell people this all the

    time joint custody are just two words

    joined together and they mean nothing

    until you fill in the blanks for

    instance you can have joint custody and

    only see your child one day a month but

    on paper you have joint custody the

    blanks are who has what time what is the

    schedule now I know people say joint

    custody and they usually mean

    5050 uh yes that can definitely be done

    if two parents have exhibited that they

    can work together and co-parent and do

    their jobs as parents I I see a lot of

    5050 times just happening more and and

    I’m a divorce father and I have two boys

    they’re grown now but when they were

    small we did week on week off and uh it

    was good for them but their mother and I

    were able to work together and do our

    job

    that’s the key

What is the process for modifying a child custody agreement?

From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com

  • It’s a two-step uh analysis there has to

    have occurred a material and substantial

    change of

    circumstances that makes it in the best

    interest of the child again you come

    back to that that the custody

    Arrangement be modified so first if

    you’re seeking to modify a custody

    Arrangement you have to beat the first

    burden of proof and that is proof

    there’s been a material change

    circumstances as a parent got a new job

    and had to be transferred or if a parent

    has become ill and

    incapacitated but once you prove that

    you still have to prove the second

    analysis and that is is it in the best

    interest of the child to change the

    custody Arrangement even if you have a

    material and substantial change of

    circumstances

Does the law favor mothers in custody cases?

From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com

  • It’s not supposed

    to and uh I don’t think it does anymore

    uh when I started practicing law there

    was a presumption called The Tender

    Years presumption that if a child was

    under a certain age it was just presumed

    by the law that the child should be with

    the mother that has changed over the

    years and by our statutes now there is

    to be no presumption whatsoever

    based on gender now certainly if a child

    is very very small and I have seen

    divorces where folks are getting divorc

    right after a child is

    born and uh fathers are going to have to

    understand that sometimes you got to

    wait for the child to get a little bit

    older before you start talking 5050 time

    and that kind of thing there’s not

    supposed to be any presumption one way

    or the other for gender and and I really

    don’t I don’t think there is anymore I I

    don’t find it in the courtroom at all

How does a parent's work schedule impact child custody arrangements?

From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com

  • It can be very important uh many many

    years ago when I was starting out I I

    represented a a father who seriously

    could have been father of the year as

    far as his involvement with his

    children’s lives in the Years building

    up to the divorce taking them to the

    doctor going to school meetings washing

    clothes fixing breakfast the problem was

    was an over the road truck driver and

    his schedule he was gone for sometimes

    10 days at a time so we had to structure

    his time with his children as completely

    flexible as we

    could to still be in the best interest

    of the children now parents who work for

    themselves or parents who have a a job

    that is flexible and they can modify

    their uh hours it’s a tremendous help uh

    as far as structuring parenting time and

    remember it’s not custody really it’s

    parenting time what is the schedule that

    you can you take your children to school

    can you be there to pick them up those

    kind of things all factor into what can

    we structure that’s good for the

    children and yet allows as much time as

    possible for the parents

If a non-custodial parent moves out of the state, do they lose the right to parenting time?

From Anne’s interview on ReelLawyers.com

  • We’re such a mobile Society nowadays

    that one of the trends we’re seeing are

    parents moving parents moving away from

    the state where the divorce happened and

    where the child is currently living when

    one parent chooses to move they’re not

    going to lose um parenting time in in

    the sense that they are still going to

    be able to see their child but obviously

    their parenting time is going to change

    you’re not going to see the child on a

    daily basis weekly basis if you’ve moved

    5 hours away or from you know New York

    City to La what our courts like to do is

    craft parenting plans especially for

    these kids who’ve got you know a good

    long summer nowadays you’ve got probably

    10 weeks in there that one parent can

    say I’m going to step up and grab some

    of that

    summertime and the other parent ISS all

    right that’s fine I’ve got the school

    year the other thing we see happening

    because air travel is is more affordable

    for people nowadays and it’s um

    something that really allows our clients

    if they can’t afford it to have access

    to their children more often to either

    fly into town and have that parenting

    time over a long weekend or to uh fly

    the child to them so what I see with my

    parents who’ve moved is a lot of flights

    it it gets expensive but you’ve got your

    frequent flyer miles and and it does

    work out the parents have to be flexible

    and there’s a lot of planning and

    scheduling that goes into it but it’s

    definitely done and it’s good for the

    kids they get to still experience life

    with both parents but they don’t have to

    be uprooted from the home that they love

    and know and all their friends but they

    still get to see the other parent and

    I’ll tell you another little uh trick

    that’s happened just in the last couple

    years that’s helping my parents so much

    is uh Airbnb because where before a

    parent would fly in and they’d be stuck

    at a hotel and maybe that would be fun

    with a swimming pool for a little bit

    but it just didn’t feel like home but

    now my parents can get an Airbnb they

    can come to town for four or five days

    see all the soccer games see the play go

    to the art show and then also let’s just

    cook dinner at home let’s uh let the

    toddlers be able to play on the floor as

    opposed to be sitting in a hotel room

    it’s just a little awkward for everyone

    so times have changed uh air travel and

    airbnbs have made it way easier for

    people to have a lifestyle where they

    can’t live in the same city with their

    children but they can have very

    meaningful parenting time with them