Child Custody & Visitation
Is Tennessee a 50/50 custody state?
From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com
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No Tennessee is not a 50/50 custody
State we try not to use the word custody
anymore uh we call it parenting time I
don’t think parents should be visitors
we used to call it custody and
visitation and I I just don’t think
either parent should have quote
visitation or be a visitor we call it
parenting time now uh there’s no
presumption about 5050 it’s what is in
the best interest of the child
considering all the factors that go in
work schedule health of the child health
of the parents ability to parent but uh
our statute does say that it encourages
that a schedule be made to allow both
parents the maximum amount of time that
almost sounds like you start out with an
idea that 5050 would be best and then
you determine if all the factors will
allow it but I can’t say That’s the Law
that’s just Dan Taylor’s approach to it
What trends do you see in the area of custody?
From Anne’s interview on ReelLawyers.com
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Since I’ve been practicing divorce law
child custody We Now call it parenting
time uh has changed somewhat in the old
days what we’d see is uh dad because
families were traditionally moms and
dads dad would have the weekends and
maybe one night during the week he’d go
to dinner or have the kids spend the
night at his house and Mom would have
the rest of the parenting time that uh
old parent
is pretty much out the window at this
point most courts are pleased to give uh
the the one parent a little extra time
over the weekend so now what we see more
is a Thursday through Monday and then
one night spend the night during the
week but if the parties are in agreement
and in some courts in my state the judge
won’t even need the parties to be in
agreement if both parents are uh able to
to parent the children in essentially
equal and productive ways that are in
the children’s best interests then many
courts now are approving 50/50 parenting
plans we’ve seen 50/50 time uh over and
over and over again be approved by the
courts and it’s it’s a fantastic thing
for the kids no nobody wants to divorce
and spend less time with their children
and so as much as the courts can
equalize those parents’ time they’re
they’re doing that more and more and I
think it’s a great thing for the
families
How does the court determine child custody in a divorce case?
From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com
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The total Lynch pin on the issue of
custody is what is in the best interest
of the child or the children it’s not
what the mother wants it’s not what the
father wants and it’s not really what
the child wants although that can come
into play it is what the court determins
is in the best interest of the child now
that has to do with consistency it has
to do with which parent has in the past
before the divorce process started has
been the parent that was there the most
the
caretaker the nurturer it’s literally
going back and looking at a history of
the marriage to determine what will be
in the best interest of the child going
forward when that child is going to have
parents living in different homes the
work schedule of the parents the
education of the parents the ability
for one parent to encourage a good
relationship between the child and the
other parent uh is frankly one of the
key uh factors in our statute about
child custody a lot of people have the
misconception that once a child turns 12
the child can decide where the child
wants to live and that’s not correct
it’s a little more subtle than that if
child’s 12 or older parent can ask the
court to at least least listen to the
child and the court has to the court has
no choice Court doesn’t have to do what
the child wants but the court has to
hear the child and here are the reasons
why if the child is under 12 you can ask
the court to talk to the child but the
Court’s not required to talk to the
child
What can be used against you in a custody battle?
From Anne’s interview on ReelLawyers.com
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When my clients are going through a high
conflict divorce and generally the
reason divorces get into a high conflict
situation is emotions arise over the
children it is so so important to keep
your
Communications a in writing but B clean
and what I try to explain to my clients
is assume that every single thing you
say and
do in the presence of your spouse or to
your spouse is going to be seen by a
judge what we see now especially in our
these high and conflict adversarial um
very emotional histrionic sometimes uh
divorce
situations is that the partners are uh
they are videoing each other they are
100% saving every text they are writing
texts to antagonize or to draw out
negative commentary from the other side
there’s a lot of manipulation that’s
going on and people were so used to in
our society sending off a quick text uh
shooting a quick email uh and we do it
without thinking and without realizing
that our tone sounds horrible if it were
to be read by someone else our choice of
words is so unkind there are actually
programs that can help clients when they
are writing a text uh to somebody that
will take into account all the language
and the tone and then send back almost
you know how AI can rewrite something
for you they can send it back and say do
it in a better tone I try very hard to
make sure that my clients understand
what they’re saying texting emailing is
never going to be a secret and that goes
for photos too I mean don’t take
pictures you don’t want the judge to see
don’t write things you don’t want the
judge to see always think as if your
grandmother is going to read and look at
everything that you communicate and and
govern yourself accordingly
Can a child have input in a child custody decision?
From Daniel’s Interview on ReelLawyers.com
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Under certain
circumstances if a child is 12 years or
over now this answer is premised upon
the parents being in litigation and
going before a judge to determine the
issue of custody if a child is 12 years
or older either parent can file a motion
with the court uh to insist that the
court talk to the child at least hear
the child’s preference ask the child
why uh there’s a preference the court
doesn’t have to do what the child wants
but court has to at least hear the child
if the child is under 12 years old the
court does not have to talk to the child
now if parents are in the negotiation
stage of trying to agree on a parenting
schedule if they’re wise they’ll at
least give their child’s wishes some
consideration and of course how old a
child is and how mature a child is uh
certainly comes into play a 16 or a
17-year-old that is starting to develop
their own lives and their own Social
Circles uh may have wishes and desires
that parents ought to respect up to a
point but children should never be
allowed to tell parents what they’re
going to do uh when I was growing up I
certainly didn’t dare tell my father
what my schedule was going to be
Can both parents have joint custody of a child?
From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com
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Certainly I I tell people this all the
time joint custody are just two words
joined together and they mean nothing
until you fill in the blanks for
instance you can have joint custody and
only see your child one day a month but
on paper you have joint custody the
blanks are who has what time what is the
schedule now I know people say joint
custody and they usually mean
5050 uh yes that can definitely be done
if two parents have exhibited that they
can work together and co-parent and do
their jobs as parents I I see a lot of
5050 times just happening more and and
I’m a divorce father and I have two boys
they’re grown now but when they were
small we did week on week off and uh it
was good for them but their mother and I
were able to work together and do our
job
that’s the key
What is the process for modifying a child custody agreement?
From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com
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It’s a two-step uh analysis there has to
have occurred a material and substantial
change of
circumstances that makes it in the best
interest of the child again you come
back to that that the custody
Arrangement be modified so first if
you’re seeking to modify a custody
Arrangement you have to beat the first
burden of proof and that is proof
there’s been a material change
circumstances as a parent got a new job
and had to be transferred or if a parent
has become ill and
incapacitated but once you prove that
you still have to prove the second
analysis and that is is it in the best
interest of the child to change the
custody Arrangement even if you have a
material and substantial change of
circumstances
Does the law favor mothers in custody cases?
From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com
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It’s not supposed
to and uh I don’t think it does anymore
uh when I started practicing law there
was a presumption called The Tender
Years presumption that if a child was
under a certain age it was just presumed
by the law that the child should be with
the mother that has changed over the
years and by our statutes now there is
to be no presumption whatsoever
based on gender now certainly if a child
is very very small and I have seen
divorces where folks are getting divorc
right after a child is
born and uh fathers are going to have to
understand that sometimes you got to
wait for the child to get a little bit
older before you start talking 5050 time
and that kind of thing there’s not
supposed to be any presumption one way
or the other for gender and and I really
don’t I don’t think there is anymore I I
don’t find it in the courtroom at all
How does a parent's work schedule impact child custody arrangements?
From Daniel’s interview on ReelLawyers.com
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It can be very important uh many many
years ago when I was starting out I I
represented a a father who seriously
could have been father of the year as
far as his involvement with his
children’s lives in the Years building
up to the divorce taking them to the
doctor going to school meetings washing
clothes fixing breakfast the problem was
was an over the road truck driver and
his schedule he was gone for sometimes
10 days at a time so we had to structure
his time with his children as completely
flexible as we
could to still be in the best interest
of the children now parents who work for
themselves or parents who have a a job
that is flexible and they can modify
their uh hours it’s a tremendous help uh
as far as structuring parenting time and
remember it’s not custody really it’s
parenting time what is the schedule that
you can you take your children to school
can you be there to pick them up those
kind of things all factor into what can
we structure that’s good for the
children and yet allows as much time as
possible for the parents
If a non-custodial parent moves out of the state, do they lose the right to parenting time?
From Anne’s interview on ReelLawyers.com
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We’re such a mobile Society nowadays
that one of the trends we’re seeing are
parents moving parents moving away from
the state where the divorce happened and
where the child is currently living when
one parent chooses to move they’re not
going to lose um parenting time in in
the sense that they are still going to
be able to see their child but obviously
their parenting time is going to change
you’re not going to see the child on a
daily basis weekly basis if you’ve moved
5 hours away or from you know New York
City to La what our courts like to do is
craft parenting plans especially for
these kids who’ve got you know a good
long summer nowadays you’ve got probably
10 weeks in there that one parent can
say I’m going to step up and grab some
of that
summertime and the other parent ISS all
right that’s fine I’ve got the school
year the other thing we see happening
because air travel is is more affordable
for people nowadays and it’s um
something that really allows our clients
if they can’t afford it to have access
to their children more often to either
fly into town and have that parenting
time over a long weekend or to uh fly
the child to them so what I see with my
parents who’ve moved is a lot of flights
it it gets expensive but you’ve got your
frequent flyer miles and and it does
work out the parents have to be flexible
and there’s a lot of planning and
scheduling that goes into it but it’s
definitely done and it’s good for the
kids they get to still experience life
with both parents but they don’t have to
be uprooted from the home that they love
and know and all their friends but they
still get to see the other parent and
I’ll tell you another little uh trick
that’s happened just in the last couple
years that’s helping my parents so much
is uh Airbnb because where before a
parent would fly in and they’d be stuck
at a hotel and maybe that would be fun
with a swimming pool for a little bit
but it just didn’t feel like home but
now my parents can get an Airbnb they
can come to town for four or five days
see all the soccer games see the play go
to the art show and then also let’s just
cook dinner at home let’s uh let the
toddlers be able to play on the floor as
opposed to be sitting in a hotel room
it’s just a little awkward for everyone
so times have changed uh air travel and
airbnbs have made it way easier for
people to have a lifestyle where they
can’t live in the same city with their
children but they can have very
meaningful parenting time with them